you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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