Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
