I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
