I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
