erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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