he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
