This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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