No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
