he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
