I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found puke in my bra..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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