Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize