Redeem this text for a blowjob
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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