So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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