just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
