he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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