4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
