I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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