idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
