Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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