You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
did i walk over a car last night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
