she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
