I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
