Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
