i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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