ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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