Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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