OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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