So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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