Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
