I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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