the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
