Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
