We won't sleep together?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
