Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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