Say something about gay babies.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
