Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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