She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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