Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize