He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
as a side note pls kill me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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