apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
