Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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