Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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