I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
