That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize