evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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