i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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