508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
