Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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