Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
