Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize