I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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