Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
