Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
