i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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