Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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