mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
