That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
