You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
