so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
