Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize