do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
