Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
