I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
