i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
