Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
