he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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