Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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