Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
