the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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