I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
