What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
